The Life-Changing Power of Forgiveness

The Life-Changing Power of Forgiveness

Dec. 2, 2024

Host: Hon. Sam Rohrer

Guest: Dr. Renton Rathbun

Note: This transcript is taken from a Stand in the Gap Today program aired on 12/2/24. To listen to the podcast, click HERE.

Disclaimer: While reasonable efforts have been made to provide an accurate transcription, the following is a representation of a mechanical transcription and as such, may not be a word for word transcript. Please listen to the audio version for any questions concerning the following dialogue.

Sam Rohrer:       Hello and welcome to this Monday edition of Stand in the Gap Today and this first Monday of the first week of the last month. How about that? The last month of 2024. Hard to believe, isn’t it? Well, I trust that all of you had an enjoyable Thanksgiving time and were able to demonstrate your gratitude to God for his many blessings and for us, I know and as well as you listening, that includes high in the list family and friends. Now my entire family, minus one son and his wife and their three little daughters who they were visiting elderly grandparents in New York state, but the rest of us gathered at our oldest son’s house for the day. So even with five missing, the remaining 27 of us were able to eat and fellowship and pray and share blessings with each other. And God is indeed so good and I hope that you sense that as well.

Sam Rohrer:       Now it’s a heads up for this week of programming like I generally do on Mondays. Tomorrow, Dr. Jamie Mitchell is going to lead this program focusing on finishing well as he and his guest consider life planning for seniors Wednesday. Dr. Carl Broggi is going to join me for an Israel prophecy and Middle East update. And on this theme, for instance, have you ever considered that God actually maintains a literal library of books in Revelation 20, it says that at a future time, the books will be opened. One of the books is identified as the Lamb’s Book of life, a book that you want your name to be in because if it’s not your destiny will be in hell separated from God for eternity. So on Wednesday, we’re going to identify the various books in God’s library that scripture speaks about and then consider specifically the Book of Life On Thursday, David New is going to join me for another constitutional update, and as we consider in part the implications of Joe Biden’s, pardon of his son Hunter and the larger underpinning of the concept of executive pardons on Friday.

Sam Rohrer:       Dr. Isaac Crockett’s going to join me for a week in review and an Ask Sam type Friday focus. So make sure you catch every program this week as I think there’ll all be an encouragement and a challenge. Now moving to today’s program, this is our monthly education and apologetics update with Dr. Renton Rathbun, who is the director of the Center for Biblical Worldview at Bob Jones University and an advisor to Biblical worldview instruction at BJU Press, which is now the world’s largest producer of K to 12 biblical worldview centered curriculum with Thanksgiving just behind us now and Christmas in the New Year’s just ahead. I think it’s a time where for far too many, it’s not a time of joy, but a time of stress due to broken or strained relationships. But what if broken relationships could be healed? The good news is they can be.

Sam Rohrer:       But what if the infection in the spiritual realm due to broken relationships remains untreated and it continues to fester like a biological wound in the physical realm, the infection will spread throughout the inner being and to others all around. So what is this treatment that can bring healing? Well, it’s called forgiveness. And the title I’ve chosen to frame our conversation today is this, the life changing power of forgiveness. In today’s program, we’re going to define forgiveness, what it is, what it’s not, and then why forgive? Why do we forgive? Why should we forgive? And the consequences and the power of forgiveness. So stay tuned as we begin this program today and with it I welcome in right now, Dr. Renton Rathman Renton, thanks for being back with me.

Renton Rathbun:              Oh, thank you for having me for this important topic.

Sam Rohrer:       It is really important Renton because not a soul listening to us right now are not concerned about relationships. We all are and far too many are broken. Let’s go here first. Renton in the New Testament in particular, it’s filled with references to the necessity of forgiving others where forgiveness is linked directly to God’s forgiveness of man’s sin as seen in Christ work on the cross. One example, Ephesians 4 32 says this, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. So here’s my first question, Renton, would you define and describe forgiveness or to forgive as the apostle Paul referenced here in Ephesians 4 32? What’s it mean?

Renton Rathbun:              Yeah, as first century Americans, we typically think of forgiveness as trying to obtain some kind of feeling of psychological acceptance of the pain that someone else has brought into our lives. But Ephesians 4:32 is telling us that forgiveness really isn’t about making myself feel something. Instead, it looks a lot like an activity that we might call a choice or a skill, and we learn that this act from Christ for us is actually a question of what did Christ do? How can we learn something from this verse? And so when we ask that question, what we find is that Christ took on the penalty for our sin and created a way of reconciliation between us and the Father. So basically the idea of reconciliation just means to restore peace between two people and so forgiveness, the part between us and the Father, that’s the forgiveness part, providing a way of reconciliation, that’s Christ’s part. And so we’re looking at Christ’s part. So in a nutshell, what we learn from Christ’s work on the cross is that forgiveness is this. When we provide a way of reconciliation to the offender between the offender and ourselves, so we provide a way of reconciling the offender to ourselves. You see that the burden is on us to provide a way

Sam Rohrer:       And that is excellent and we’re going to get more into that. That’s powerful what you just said here. For the sake of again, setting this up, you got an offender, you got an off attendee providing a way for reconciliation a goal, so we know where we’re headed on matter forgiveness, but compare, contrast, forgiving with not forgiving or forgiveness and withholding forgiveness. What’s the compare contrast?

Renton Rathbun:              If you think about how scripture describes God’s forgiveness, especially when you look at the Old Testament, it often says that God remembers our sins no more. Now obviously God is God and therefore he is not extracting the knowledge out of his mind and actually forgets. We have to remember that a lot of the language in scripture is very covenantal. In other words, God is saying that legally or in any other way, he will not hold the sins against us. If I can put it this way, he’ll never bring them up again. In today’s world, we have counterfeit forgiveness. We find a way to start feeling better about what happens so that it doesn’t bother us anymore, but then when the person agitates us or whatever, we get upset again and it comes back and we want to bring it up. So real forgiveness refuses to bring up those sins again, that’s real forgiveness.

Sam Rohrer:       Alright ladies and gentlemen, be kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. Forgiveness, the life-changing power of forgiveness. What a theme for which is all to know. Remember, in these holy days holidays in which we live…

Sam Rohrer:       Well, if you’re just joining us today, our theme today I think is a very, very important one. If you are a breathing human living being, which I’m sure if you listen to me, you are, you know that the importance of being forgiven and giving and not living in bondage is something that’s important to all of us. And yet we go into the Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year’s holidays, the real meaning of holiday, how many circumstances, families and others are broken and prevented from having real fellowship because of broken relationships. Well, we’re talking about that today, the power, the life changing power of forgiveness. Now in a literal sense, the act of forgiving and my special guest, Dr. Renton Rathbun described and defined that on in the last segment, here is an actual a dictionary definition. In a legal sense, the act of forgiving or forgiveness has a legal action and it means to pardon or to remit as in an offense or a debt to overlook and offense and to treat the offender as not guilty to send away or to reject That is to not impute.

Sam Rohrer:       Okay? That definition I just gave you is from Webster’s 1828 dictionary and that’s where I go from my definitions. That’s what it means. The perfect example of this is God forgiving the sin of mankind by providing a means of pardon, not by anything we can do, but because of what Christ’s payment for our sin offenses in his sacrificial death on the cross, this pardon is realized when we agree with God about our sin offense, we offend God and God’s penalty for sin, which is death, is satisfied by repenting and accepting God’s provision for a divine pardon in effect through faith alone in Christ’s sacrificial work on the cross alone. Hence, we are to forgive others as God through Christ has forgiven us. And that is right straight from that passage from the apostle Paul in Ephesians for 32, okay, Renton, whereas God’s forgiveness or granting to us a pardon is the model or the template, would you build out further the concept of why do we forgive? Why should we forgive and what it means? On the other flip side, if we do not forgive or are unwilling to forgive others,

Renton Rathbun:              A lot of us probably remember in Matthew 18:21 when Peter asks Jesus, how many times should I forgive my brother? And Jesus famously says 70 times seven. What we find after that, if you keep reading, you find out the why we forgive. Jesus explains it in a parable about a servant who is an evil servant. So this servant goes, owes a 10,000 talents to his master. There’s no way the servant can pay it back. So the master forgives 10,000 talents of debt and takes that burden off that servant and the servant is relieved, he is forgiven and he immediately goes home and finds someone even under him who owes just a little bit of money and he gets so angry at this person that owes him just a little bit of money that he chokes him and he yells at him to pay him back and he doesn’t pay him back.

Renton Rathbun:              So he throws him in prison and the master gets wind of this and the master brings that servant back and says, I forgave you all this and you can’t even forgive this other guy just a little bit. So he sends him to be tortured until he can pay it back. This is a picture of how God views his forgiveness to us. He forgave us so much that we don’t understand. I don’t think how horrible our sin is before God so that we believe when someone has sinned against us, that we can’t forgive them that little bit. And this is hard for us to understand because some of our listeners might have endured some really horrible acts from other people, some really terrible things. It could be abuse, whatever it is. And what God is saying, your sin is so horrible that even that still doesn’t hold a candle to what you’ve done against me. You can forgive. And so the why of forgiveness is because of how we were forgiven through. So if Christ can provide a way of forgiveness for us in light of the depth of our sin, God expects us to provide a small thing which is to forgive people that have sinned against us.

Sam Rohrer:       See, that’s powerful Renton, because what you’re saying is that no matter what comes into our lives, and you said you don’t have to just tip of the iceberg, so many of the most horrible things are done by people to people that even then, as you said, none of what can be done compares to our sin against a holy God. So that contrast is really critical. Lemme go ahead and go forward like that. Most of the commands of scripture though they have with them consequences on benefits on one side and rewards for doing what God says or penalties or judgments on the other for not, what are the positive consequences, the benefits of forgiving as we’re talking and the negative consequences, penalties of not forgiving?

Renton Rathbun:              Well, there is a sense in which even today we think of, well, forgiveness will bring me peace in my heart and that is a benefit and that sometimes does happen to people, but that doesn’t always happen. It’s not a benefit we should be seeking out as the reward for us forgiving someone else because sometimes that doesn’t happen. The uneasiness is still there and we still have a sense of should I have forgiven that person? However, the true benefit of forgiveness, and this is really important I think to our listeners, the real benefit is a tangible way. Forgiveness provides a tangible way that we can demonstrate our gratitude to God for his forgiveness, for our sins. What we want to do is we want to demonstrate thankfulness to God and sometimes it is our worship on Sunday, sometimes it’s in a prayer. What forgiveness does is it gives you a difficult moment that requires real sacrifice, which allows for you to get a small glimpse of what Christ has done for you in reconciling you to the Father as you reconcile someone else to yourself. And that is one of the most positive things that forgiveness can do for us.

Sam Rohrer:       Okay, so as you’re saying, it’s one of the most powerful forms of witness to a needy world, is for us to reflect God’s forgiveness to us if we’ve trusted in him by doing that to others, again powerful. Let me ask you a question here for what are we to forgive others? Now, we’ve raised the specter of the most horrid kinds of abuse that could take place as being clearly in that category, but for what are we to others and what constitutes an offense for which we should forgive?

Renton Rathbun:              This is an important question because this gets to the nuance of our very thin skinned selves. Sometimes typically in scripture when someone has offended someone else, it’s referring to a sin against someone else. This of course limits what we should be offended by to sins against us, not to slights or to something that made us upset because we don’t like their personality. In fact, one Corinthians 13 reminds us that if we are to love our brothers and sisters or anybody, even our neighbor, we are to always think the best of them. Most of our offenses come from ways we perceive that someone is treating us. And we may have already, we might already think everything they’re doing is to offend us because we’re trying to assume something about them because we don’t like something about them. So oftentimes when we think someone needs our forgiveness, a lot of times it’s merely because we are assuming things or we’re assuming the worst of them in the way they have responded to us. So what we have to remember is when we’re thinking of what constitutes something that requires my forgiveness, it all comes down to sins. So that means if they have gossiped against me, if they have physical or sexual abuse, all these things that are real sins against us, not something that we’ve assumed about someone because we have grown to dislike them,

Sam Rohrer:       But what you’re saying is that it’s not just the sins by which then if we think sin offense, then we have to start framing in our mind a ranking of offenses, criminal activities more or less against us. But what you’re saying is it goes beyond to those things that just rile us or disturb our attitudes and thoughts about someone else. Is that what you’re saying?

Renton Rathbun:              That’s exactly right. We have to remember that we are easily offended because oftentimes our love is really not a love for others. It’s a love for ourselves. And when someone offends us, even unintentionally, we tend to react way larger than we should.

Sam Rohrer:       The life-changing power of forgiveness is our theme today, ladies and gentlemen, we all like to be forgiven, don’t we? It’s a little harder to forgive others though sometimes, isn’t it? And sometimes we have to forgive ourselves and we wonder about that. We’re going to answer that question in part in the next segment as we go further and literally how do we forgive? Well, if you’re just joining us now, we’re midpoint in the program. Our theme today, our title is this, the Life Changing Power of Forgiveness. We deal oftentimes with headlined news on this program. That’s what we generally do, but then we deal with these other issues. And one of the things that in thinking about this focus today is that if you look around our country, you look within our families, you look within our communities, one thing we see is that we are a divided nation, are we not?

Sam Rohrer:       So many families have been divided by the election this year divided by health issues and divided, divided, divided, which means there are broken relationships and rather than loving to get together with family and friends at thanksgiving time and Christmas time, it’s often a stressful time where we try to almost avoid it and out of duty we get together the other that ought not to be. That ought not to be, it doesn’t have to be. And then it comes into the command given to God’s people by the Apostle Paul. We cited at the beginning here in Ephesians 4:32 where the apostle Paul says, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. So forgiving or literally granting a pardon as we considered in the definition in the last segment, literally granting a pardon to another person is an action we do towards someone else for something they may have said or done which caused pain or hurt or embarrassment.

Sam Rohrer:       It’s not just some criminal activity, it is far less an offense in a legal sense. When we are offended, we believe that our rights have been infringed upon. They should not have done that to me or whatever it may be. Therefore, an illegal sense as I look at this concept of pardon and forgiveness in a sense a cause, a cause of action has been created that requires a decision on the part of each offended person. And we’ve all been in this category as the offender and the offended. But in reality, how is forgiveness or the pardon actually extended, Renton? We’ve addressed briefly the what and the why and some of the consequences of forgiving. But let’s move now to the how. One of the most powerful principles I’ve learned over my Christian life rented and augmented by my time in the civil government in dealing with law is that forgiveness as in granting a pardon is a decision, not a process.

Sam Rohrer:       In other words, when we link forgiveness to a process, we give ourselves the authority to begin ranking offenses, which puts our focus on the offense rather than when we view forgiveness as a decision, we take our focus off the offense, which is frankly very controlling of our mind and our spirit, and instead puts our focus on the forgiving power of God and Jesus Christ at the time of the offense, that at that point then it loses its power over us. Now what can you share Renton about how to forgive and perhaps further expand on forgiveness being a decision, not a process principle if you want,

Renton Rathbun:              When it comes to how we forgive someone, I think it comes down to what we are always reminded in scripture and what we’re reminded of is the example is in Christ. And so what did Christ do? As we talked about before, Christ provides a way of reconciliation. So it’s not simply jumping to the reconciliation part where we’re just saying, I forgive you, let’s move on, but you’re providing a way. And so what Christ did on the cross was he provided a way in which our sins can be forgiven so that we might be reconciled to the Father.

Renton Rathbun:              And what you see in Christ is the onus of responsibility came down on Christ. God was not waiting for us to provide the way he provided the provider, if I can put it that way. So the how of forgiveness does come down to beginning with the person who was offended. That’s us. This is why this is so radical. We’re not waiting for the person that offended us to provide the way we are too. Now there are conditions on that and we can go into that in a second, but as providing the way we have to approach, we have to reach out and we have to give them, if I can put it this way, permission to express what they have done wrong and we have to reach out our hand in full extent of forgiveness. And so this does come down to us the offended to do the work.

Sam Rohrer:       Okay, so that obvious, that walks right to the when many people listening right now, we’ve all been in the circumstance, so we’re all alike in this regard. We have been offended. How many times do we wait? It could be husband, wife, relationship or friend to friend or parent to child relationship where there’s been something that has happened and the tendency is to say, well, I am not going to forgive them until they come and they beg me for my forgiveness. You are suggesting that act of forgiveness is extended, initiated, precipitated by the person who has been offended because now that opens up the door. That’s what you’re saying, build that out a little bit.

Renton Rathbun:              Absolutely. When we are the one that are extending the way to reconciliation, this doesn’t mean that they’re going to take it. So there is a sense in which when we provide the way and we give them a chance to talk, a chance to discuss what was going on and all that sort of thing, and we are providing this platform, if I can put it that way, what we find is within the context of God’s word, if we are to provide a way of reconciliation, our offer has to be presented to them, but they still have to be repentant. So even as Christ didn’t die for everyone’s sin and unbeknownst to them they were forgiven and they didn’t even repent.

Renton Rathbun:              Repentance is required, but it’s required for the forgiveness part. The way has been provided, but the forgiveness part doesn’t happen unless the person is repentance. So that asking for forgiveness is paramount in the work that you’re trying to get them to. So the next question is how sincere do they need to be in their repentance? And scripture tells us we can’t know someone’s motivations. Obviously you have to be very wise about that sort of thing. And we understand you can’t just take someone’s word for it. There has to be a lot of wisdom behind it and knowledge, but we cannot hold against a person whether or not we think they might violate our trust in the future. Real forgiveness is forgiveness at that point and not I will forgive you, but I have my eye on you. It’s not I will forgive you, but if you do this again, I’m definitely bringing this up again, real forgiveness, if there’s repentance requires not a condition of what will happen in the future, but a decision at that moment.

Sam Rohrer:       Okay, so let’s go further to the when if by what saying the biblical model is the forgiver, the offended person, God being offended by man’s sin reached out first with A and said, I forgive, but there was still a penalty that requires repentance, faith, salvation on our part for reconciliation, the goal to be realized. But he reached out first. So the offended God offended at our sin, we offended at somebody else for hurting us. When should we consider? How quickly should we consider after being offended and offer forgiveness? How long should we wait before that happens?

Renton Rathbun:              That’s a good question because some people aren’t repentant at all. And then do we forgive? I mean, how long do we wait? And we look back at Jesus’ example. So the Father is not extending forgiveness unless it’s through the way that Christ has provided. And so the offender provides a way for discussion and the ability for the other person to repent. But if the person doesn’t repent, then forgiveness is not, if I can put it this way, is not extended. Now this does not mean that you then become bitter and all that sort of thing and you’re not allowed to create a new sin because someone has not repented of what they did against you. But what you do have to do, you have to, if I can put it this way, keep seeking the peace, which is what reconciliation is. There needs to be a peace about God’s justice even in your heart as you think about these things as well.

Sam Rohrer:       Alright, ladies and gentlemen, I’m hoping that what we are saying is bringing some clarity. I know we are touching something that speaks to all of us because we’re all involved in this matter of needing forgiveness, needing to forgive. So when we come back, we’re going to try and move a little bit further and conclude with the power, and again talking about the goal, the goal of forgiveness as we go into this final segment, I just want to thank all of you for being a part of this program today and all year. For those of you who have prayed, and I know many of you do, and thank you for that, many of you partner with us financially. Thank you for that because without both of those, it would not be possible for this ministry to continue in this program to be aired on the station to which you are listening.

Sam Rohrer:       So you play a very, very important role and I want to thank all of you. Even if you listen right now and you have never ever written to us or prayed for us, you’re still apart. But I would encourage you that in this time of year when we think about giving, thanking God at thanksgiving time for his goodness and for his blessings, and think of giving to others at Christmas time that perhaps you would entertain a leading from the Holy Spirit perhaps to be thankful and express some thankfulness for this program, if God’s used it in your life, let us know and share a small gift with us, a financial gift and a commitment to pray. They walk hand in hand. And so could I just plant that thought in your minds and extend my gratefulness to you for those of us, those of you who have been a part of that, so enough said on that, but to pray that you would listen to the Holy Spirit and if he lays on your heart to give and to pray, and you can do that on our website of course, or on our app, this matter of forgiveness.

Sam Rohrer:       Well, we’ve only just been able to scrape this just a surface today on this powerful principle, but while this matter of forgiving or granting a pardon, if we consider it that way from a legal sense, which it really, it is that kind of a action when we grant forgiveness or a pardon to someone else, that concept is little understood generally in our culture, but it’s not even practiced very much in our church, our churches, the church at large. And I think perhaps one of the most impactful things on our churches is that they are filled full of broken relationships and a lot of things happen when there are broken relationships. How can you come to worship? How can you sit down and worship in church when you know that there’s someone sitting down to the end of the pew that you just don’t want to look at?

Sam Rohrer:       It happens. And God doesn’t answer prayer if there is an offense in our heart, unresolved bitterness result of unforgiveness, God doesn’t even answer prayer. And we wonder what in the world’s going on is God acting? Is God alive? Oh yeah, he’s very much alive. I’m thinking that we’re not very much alive. And it goes to the heart of this issue in our days. The granting of a legal pardon, like for instance make it headline news just has been done by Joe Biden for his son Hunter, but absent the administration of justice or the application of a worthy substitute for the penalty of criminal activity. And you’re going to be seeing this all through the media because people are already talking about it, even the unjust or concerned about what has taken place because it’s a travesty of justice. It’s a lawless mockery of the law because it ignores the reality of sin and a true offense and forgoes a required payment of any type for that sin. Alright? So what is the power and the goal of forgiveness when we extend forgiveness to others as God through Christ Jesus extended to us Renton for many just to grant a pardon or forgiveness that I just referenced, but without a specific God designed goal in mind for that part. And it actually becomes almost like a lawless get out of jail free pass. And that’s not God’s theory or a concept of forgiveness, is it? So build up upon this, again, the goal of biblical forgiveness. What is it?

Renton Rathbun:              This brings us right back to the example from Ephesians where Christ provides the way and the Father provides the forgiveness. And in the end, forgiveness is that reconciliation that making peace between the offended and the offender. And what we find, and this is going to be something that we really need to think about because it’s not merely the goal of biblical forgiveness when we forgive someone else, isn’t merely the peace we find between ourselves and the other person. Because this is a picture, the real thing happened when Christ provided his body as a sacrifice and the Father said, yes, that is approved and he raises Christ from the dead. This is what we call resurrection power to provide for us a way of peace between us and the Father. And although reconciliation is what we wish to accomplish when we forgive others, that’s the goal.

Renton Rathbun:              But even reconciliation itself has a goal. Reconciliation is not what we do so that we can just move on. It’s not what we do so that we can feel better. Real reconciliation is a way of demonstrating my gratitude and my faithfulness to God. And this is important because what happens is when we forgive, forgiveness becomes doxology. In other words, the goal is to glorify God with our acts of forgiveness, which does require a real picture of what Christ did for us. This means we don’t bypass the way of forgiveness and just say, oh, I forgive you, and we make it transactional and get out of jail, free pass. But it has to have a picture of Christ in it so that it glorifies God. This is one of those moments where we are able to do the thing that we always say we’re supposed to do.

Renton Rathbun:              It’s we are supposed to glorify God in everything and we say that, but what that really means is demonstrations of gratitude. This is at the heart of Romans, one of what makes us so evil in our hearts. So embittered against God is when you really get down to our depravity is that issue that we did not give God thanks and we did not give him honor. And that is the worst thing you can do against God. And so the greatest thing that we are able to picture for God is this reconciliation work that is gratitude work, faithfulness, work, honoring work. Like I said, it becomes doxology.

Sam Rohrer:       And ladies and gentlemen, Renton, we’re just about done here right now. But ladies and gentlemen, obviously we haven’t touched on some of these things, but obviously scripture gives us further information. If we have been offended, scripture does tell us that we are to go to the other person who’s offended us and we approach them. But in a spirit of already having forgiven them opens up the door for the discussion. If they do not respond, scripture said, then you take two or three others and you go to them and you address it with them. And if they respond, then praise the Lord and that leads towards a reconciliation and a restoration of a broken relationship. But you having already forgiven, are freed, are freed from the bitterness, freed from the shackles that are there, whether or not they actually come back and repent. We’ve done our part and we’ve opened that door. So there’s so much more that we can say. But I hope and pray that we’ve shared enough today to highlight a theme importance to us all with an understanding that God is the pattern and given us the template that we forgive others as God in Christ path forgiven us. So may that be a challenge and encouragement for us all today as we go into this further holiday season. God bless you. Thanks for being with us, Dr. Renton Rathman, thank you so much for being a part of today.